I dont give a damn , Bullshits !

Ehk kau siape sial nk takotkan bestfriend aku ah ? KAO SIAPE ?! Yelah , nak step mane punya Minah Rep konon . Eleh , eh budak baru naek . Dengar sini . Orng mcm kao tk sepatotnye threaten die bodoh nk mampos . Kao bilang aku ah kao siape . Ehk , kwn kao maseh sygkan ex die konon , cermin diri sendiri ah . EX DIE SYGKN DIE AYE ?? fikir balik ah sial , mcm ane ex die tk break ngan die klao die tk buat ex die happy ? BILANGAKU AH . JELASKAN . Aku bilang kao , jgn cube nk takotkn die lagy . percume kao takotkan sbb tkde pape akan berubah . Tengok diri kao dulu ah , nk step tolong kwn aye ? Badan dh lah big size . Ehk tk tawu psl cinte , duduk diam-diam sua . Mulot kao jgn pernah gerak . Tengok balik ah sial mcm ane kwn ako treat ex die . Fikir dorang sweet same2? Fikir sajak pe? Tengok ah girlfriends kao sume , PERANGAI MCM SIAL . Pandangan aku korang cume , attention seekers , Flirts , pelacors , muke taik bacens .. Korang dh knape nk sebok-sebok lepak ngan dorang ? asl nk attention ex die ? WTF ?! bestfriend aku ngan mataer die tk menyusahkan kao per . asl nk takotkan dorang ?.., pikir kao bagy warning dorang takot pe ? takt ngan badan kao ? takot ngan gang kao ? Pukimak lah sial !! Ehk Minah Rep Johor , jgn pernah kao sentoh die . Fikir aku takot ngan badan kao perh sial !

Obsessed Bitch

Dear Diary ,
                 
                    Why is it that Girls who still loved someone likes to flirt with her ex ? It is necessary ?
Man ! Get it off Kickass Bitch ! Your out of the line ... Red card for you . Tsk tsk tsk .. get over yourself girl , flirting with others infront of your ex , doesnt make him crawling back to you . Oh my , did i ever saw you somewhere wearing bitches clothes ?! OMG ! Get yourself a cinema sized mirror girl .. Erh , i have something to ask ; Do you look sexy in that ? What makes you think its attractive ? Why dont you show your SEXY body nakedly ? .. Ask yourself that okae .

Got a note for you bitch :

 Dont ever try to take away my bestfriends boyfriend . Aint worth your fighting for people's love . Take a look at yourself in the mirror first before beginning your choice . I maybe weak but my bestfrriend's love is much stronger than yours . Bitch , if you want to have common things , Try me . He pierce , you pierce . He loiters , you loiters . Whats wrong ? GONE MAD ?! Dont try to sacrifice your love towards him cause YOUR LOVE AINT LONG AND STRONG . GO AND FLIRT WITH OTHER GUYS GIRL . I can only say , NOBODY IS PERFECT FOR YOU BITCH

Non- Addicted to Love

Dear Diary ,
                   
                    Why i felt like this ? i cant explain alrite . Cause my feelings are mixed up . All i can is express my situation .. I kinda happy hanging out with my besties . Suhaida , Shariffah & Ierah spending their time with their love ones ; makes me happy to see them stucking together like double-sided tape .But why a long face dear Huda ? I just cant stop thinking they have the time to spend their time with them . But i ended up nothing :( . Yeah dear besties , im quite active infront of you girls , but inside im crying . Im not pretending or fake my actions , im just not letting my true feelings out . Its nice to see cute and relevant couples , but its hurting to see you all going romance ,  for me . I dont know why , maybe jealousy ? Hurt to see couples ? Tears are rolling down when see them romance-ing ? . I get the feeling that seeing them together it really hates me alot . Cause it reminds me of my past-time memories . Questions keep rounding in my brains , " Why is relationship is scary to me ? " , Is it about the Love ? Romance-ing ? Saying Goodbyes ? ... Well i never knew this could pass through my head . There is no sign of celebrating Valentines day with someone i loved . No body could ever be loyal to me . No one .

So what if nobody wants me ? So what ?! i dont care i have or not as long my heart is open for all to hurt me or love me . Jealousy is what im experiencing now , but that doesn't mean im desperate to have a boyfriend . Relationships are never gonna affect me . Either you enter my heart and stay or you hurt me and leave. Thats what im thinking . Love never ends . Thats why story books like Sleeping Beauty , Cinderella , always ends with a phrase " And they live happily ever after " . Which relationships doesnt have fights in these world ? There will always be challenges to face like conflicts , affairs , scandals ... Doesnt mean no fights or conflicts means you are loyalty to that person , but is the heart that decide not to fight with your love ones because your love is strong to held firmly .Love is all about Honest , Trust , Sacrifices , respect and loyalty .

If i can say all the things listed , why cant i ? Have i done my best as a good girlfriend ? .. Well its not all about being a good girlfriend , but its all about the love you gave stand together strongly & firmly to its place . Im saying this doesnt mean im desperate or obssesed , But to me , Solo life is better . Dont go through all the Love pains now eventhough one day you'll find your True love when you grow up . People are starting to change cause thats why i call them ' Young People ' . It might not be my time to have my feeling of Love now , but it could be my time when im reaching my dreams . What people say ,  " You can feel all the love , But True Love is only paired under the hands of Tuhan :)

Our memories meant alot to me

Im missing you again . Potassium .
Her's a song that reminds me of you ..
It doesnt relates us , but it some of the lyrics relates to our memories .

Lyrics to Tonight :


I remember the times we spent together
on those drives
We had a million questions
all about our lives
and when we got to New York
everything felt right
I wish you were here with me
tonight

I remember the days we spent together
were not enough
and it used to feel like dreamin'
except we always woke up
Never thought not having you
here now would hurt so much

Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you
I can just look up
and know the stars are
holdin' you, holdin' you, holdin' you tonight

I remember the time you told me about when you were eight
And all those things you said that night that just couldn't wait
I remember the car you were last seen in
and the games we would play
All the times we spilled our coffees
and stayed out way too late

I remember the time you told me about your Jesus
and how not to look back even if no one believes us
When it hurt so bad sometimes
not having you here...

I sing.
Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you
I can just look up
and know the stars are
holdin' you, holdin' you, holdin' you tonight

It meant so much to me . Does it to you ?

Signature of Hurt

Why ? Why things change ? .. You promise to stop . Rite , i believe that when you say bad things about it like you hate it lahhh , you dont like it lahhh .. then all of a sudden , you say you feel like you want to start back . But where did the promise go ? I've given you all my trust to you when i understand your situation of stopping it . You & suhaida . But in the end , all change . I seriously dont know what to say . If she knows , im dead . I dont know how to express my feelings as if you step my head . Go on and dont stop . Dont ever stop stepping my head cause my life is meant to be hurt . Yeahh , Hurt is all i experience . So just continue doing it , i may cry all my life because once you hurt me , the scars left would only heal but will never fade . Those scras will remained forever .Remained as a signature of hurt . Dont worry i wont complain , You both have been having that infections . But why continue ? You still want that to come back and disturb your life ? if you wanted to , then go ahead . Remember , i've visited you once when your 1 week sick because i care about you . But you wanted this back again , so be it . I dont care if your sick .. i'll just visit you until you are cured even if it affects my work & my studies .

Fake = Rumours , Truth = Heart

Is it me or is it fate ? Whats wrong with life ?! :'( Quit rounding in my mind ! Its making me sick ! And you also make me having difficulties of breathing !

i know what you'll say & what you're thinking . I know . Im quite sad , bcoz you're different now then before . What you've known is all wrong . I just wish i can explain everything . Everything in a understandable way . All i wanted is we could be friends again . I wanted that back like we used to be friends . All i can say now , the fake has been spread but the truth is still remained . You and your friends dont know anything but the fake .Think again , yess its possible to like someone .But that ' like somebody ' has different meaning . And that different meaning is the truth . But that truth is not any rumour , is the truth from my very own heart . I just hope you'll understand what i mean by " i like you as my friend " cause thats the truth and its all from my heart . i meant what i say and i want it to come true . Cause what they meant was all a fake . What i meant for fake was ' Rumours ' . And , i only wanted was everything turns to normal back . No matter what , i wanna talk to you back like we used to . Hope you understand me .