Mom , pleaseeee just ONCE SUPPORT me in whatever i do . Yknow it seriously hurts whatever i do , you always complain alot . I really wanna buy that Sony NEX Camera .. But you say dont waste my money . Mum , dont you understand about these things .. I wanna buy that camera yknow why ? Cause i wanna keep ALOOOT of memories . If you dont want that camera ... fine . BUT i need it . You dont need pictures , BUT everyone need memories . Everything i do , YOU ALWAYS COMPLAIN . I know my myself , i know how to keep my future in line . Its just that i need your help , BUT you always werent there for me . Todaaay i just bought a new dress cost $15 . I showed to you .. and all you could say is " mmmm .. dont waste your money can ? " WTF ... mom , whatever you wanna buy , you always get it . Whatever i wanna buy , you complain . ERRRRRGH ! YOU NEVER UNDERSTAND ME !!!! NEVER BEFORE !!! >;(((

Because of YOU

This used to be one of my favourites song cause its damn meaning .
Im force to fake smiles , laughters and life . With my girlfreidns around , i have to cause i noe im strong to let everything hold on to where it belongs . But holding on to something or someone who would never do the same .. Its worthless my time and life . And its worthless my love to someone when that person goes with other person .. Its true , because of you ..  I just dont noe how to let anyone else in my heart . I dont noe . U were there when we're still functioning .. U are always there when i told u i tattooed u there . U we're always there when i needed u most ..
But time change and people change .. Promises are meant to be broken . Words are never meant to be said and kept . Feelings are to fade or stay more stronger . But whatever the world still spinning , Life has to go on .Because of you , i find it hard to trust anybody around me .. You were there when i said im lacking of trust to you . But the things that you do , it doesnt proves me anything that you're worth my time , my heart , my trust , my everything ... my soul . U didnt .
Because of you , im afraid . Im afraid to move on . Im afraid cause when i've forgotten you , you came crossing my mind all of a sudden . Im afraid to love someone again . IM TOO AFRAID .

Broken Hearted Girl .

How i wish .
How i wish i could explain everything , make you look me in the eyes and visualise through how much pain im going through without you .
How i wish you could observe my actions everyday watching me enduring this pain ..
Cause im starting to miss u . I miss everything all about us .
I wait and waited for this just one message from you .. once it did , My frown fades away and curves up widely. Well , it didnt .
I cry memorising back our memories . I cry when you said you let me go . I cry when i watch you fade and with someone else . I cry observing you spend your life with someone better happily . I cry you spent the whole day with her . Most importantly , I cry watching our strongest love fades away easily ;(
I may seem so strong on the outside . But in my heart , Its super duper pain . Feels like my heart shattered into a million pieces .
Everytime we fight , we always have our ways to settle it in a nice way . Like as if we fight over a small thing but we end it like a sudden .
I miss those times . I miss US . I miss the things we told each other and didnt realize we have sooo much in common . But what happens now , tells me that we're meant to be together but not mean to fall in Love .

Well what can i say ..
Im not gorgeous , pretty , beautiful , good enough and perfectly perfect for someone like you .
You deserve a better ME .

How i wish SHE is ME

I wish I made YOU laugh like she did . I wish I made YOU love me like she did .
I wish I made YOU smile like she did . I wish I made YOU mine like she did .
How i wish I could steal YOU away from her . I wish I could steal YOUR heart & Your love away .
That should be ME , holding your hands . That should be ME , making you laugh . That should be ME , feeling your kiss . That should be ME , getting your huggys . That should be ME , being by yourside when you need me .
How i wish I was HER .

Not that im being soo Emo or what , But yeah this is where i let out my feelings . True feelings where ppl wont understand mostly .

9May2011 > Best Day Ever

Beeeeeest Day yaaaaaaw !

The only day i get to smile the whole day and hangout with my girlfriends .
Suhaida , Shariffah , Syahierah , Hawa , Fateen , Salihin & Hairi . Thankyou all ;)
You made me smile endlessly . Not a single frown on that day . Teeehee . LOVE YA ALL .
Went Woodlands Waterfront with my girlfriends .. we took ALOT of pics and ALOT of fun together .
HELL YEAH ! Panas semacam ! 3 hari cuace bahang . Switch on 2 kipas kt depan muke pon tak cukop yaaaw ! Haha kae aku gyler -.-"
After that went to JP together , meet my two BROTHERLURPS TERINDUUU ! Salihin n Hairi ! Alaaaa kalao lah ade firdaus ( Flourine ) n Alfiyan .. Lagy bertambah gerekx yawww ..
Kae brotherlurp baru dtng dh ajak nk tngok wayang . Chyeeeaah ! mmg nk tngok Fast & Furious 5 pon .. tapy tk jady yawww . Semua tngah pokai sia ! Hahaha kae then gy lepak kat satu blok blakang JP .
Then Fiq txt me , suroh cao dari sane nk jmpe die . Haiiish malu nye aku :> dngan dress aku yg lagy bertambah sexy  . Woaaaah ! Smpai senget !
Then take 174 gy jmpe Fiq kat BB blok 249 lepaaaak ! kae kite due je .
Then die asyiik make me jealous tao .
TKNK MENGAKU YG U DAH ADE SCANDAL . TKYAH NK TUTOP2 KAN CERITE U NGAN DIE KAY .
Kae smbil lepaaaaak , Otp wit Afiz . Kiwaaaaak !
Suare die HOT SMCM SIA . aku otp pon bole cair dngar suare die HAHA sorry afiz !
But im telling u the fact ! ur suare hot n laen . I LIKE !
Kae my time with Fiq dh over , tkde pape interesting -.-" Jmpe stakat rindu each other yawww.
Balek hp mati tk dpt dngar lagu dlm bus 985 :(
Balek rumah , gy charge hp msg Fiq yg i dh smpai umah . Dhen tibe2 my hp berlambak ngan new messages dari Afiz , Eera n mama :\ Woaaah nk reply smue pon tngah pening rabak dhen afiz back up . Alaaaa bih merajok . Haha ! Eera txt me cause she feels very down . Chillax eera ! if u wan meet up then tell me .. anything just story telling yaw .. Dhen i give u hug kae .
Fiq suroh on9 .. Alaaamak , kaki dh lengoh dari woodlands waterfront .. malas nk bngon dari katil yawww . Just otp with hym lahh . Alaaaaa i love the part we say byebye tk abes2 punye case . Haiyoooo i miss tat .. Sooo cute of hym :>
then dh letak . APE LAGY ! GY TIDO MCM BABI AHH HAHA .
kae , just now in 985 bus terserempak ngan huda n zahwa . lupe nk wish  huda :(
Happy Birthday Huda & Fazeera ! Sweet 16 ke pe
. But dont worry my wan tk lame lagy dh 16 yawww ! Haha check2 apiz nk bwk me gy mane ehk .. Hmmmm
Kae tats all .. Byebye yawww !

Love ya peeps . Muaaaaaahcksxz !

Well i have soemthing to say to Fiq , my Handsome bunny :)
You made me see whats love's fillings is .
Never thought that US will be like this
U made me learn what relationships are formed
Like the sun in the sky and the ocean in the horizone.
You dried my cheeks away by my tears
You hugged me and say u'll never leave me in fear
i'd ensure u'll never make me live in heartbrokens
Until when i open my eyes and im suffering of YOU endurance .
I ly in bed with my lips curves up
Never will i forget this day of my entire life
from my frown to a lovely smile ,
Thankyou and i love you :)

Kae niy i sumpah from the bottom of my heart , i buat niyy sendiri . Bkan dari internet -.-"
Kaekae byebye :)

Im sorry

IDK IDK IDK IDK IDK IDK IDK !
Im sorry fiq , IDK . We otp n u said sweet things .. it didnt really touched my heart .
As if all my trust to u are really fading away completely .
I know deeeeeeeep down my heart , i still want u and i really love u soo much .. But everything turned out wrong .
I tried finding my way in my heart to still bring back the love i use to love u , but end up im lost . Im lost in my own heart fiq . After we break up , my love for u change completely and all my trust fade slowly . As if since u left me , my heart was replace from love to heartbroken and from trust to WHATEVER . Im soo sorry fiq , i still love u , i still want u , i still need u , i just cant find a way to express my Love . I need time . I need my time to be alone .
I may be moving on rite now , but my heart cant accept the fact . I know u promise me ALOT that u will come back someday .. I believe that . My heart is full of Heartbroken and i cant fight it .. Its ........ SOO STRONG ;( i cant help crying when im too quiet .
When we otp also , im not like i used too be . I usually happy when we get to talk otp and spent each time fighting about small matter but now , whatever u said .. my heart is pushing all ur words away n im like " yeah , okae , hmm , okae can " .
If u really love me , capture my heart again like u used to . Im losing u and im lost .
Pls , dont go breaking my heart slowly . IM TOO WEAK TO FACE IT .

Whatever it is Fiq , dont leave me undone . I'll find my way to love u again like i used to. Remember i always look in your eyes every minute , i was too scared that someday i will never see u again . And it did happen . Whatever happens , memories are the only ones i can recall back n mind .
Thanku for being there for me in this 7 months of our relationship . Thanku ! i appreciate what u had done for me all this while . Thanku fer the memories we made together each time . 13102010 ♥
You'll always be in my heart . Thanku Hunney Bunney :)

- Huda , Your shorty Busted :)

Yeah Baby ! Im Moving ON :D

I cant breathe w/o U

Hey !
Long time never update my bloggy Teehee ..
Haisssh IDK why but im full of complicated things rite now in my life .
What should i do now ? Where should i go ? Whats my decision nest ? WHAT IF ? ;(
But thansk to Shariffah , Suhaida , Syahierah & Hawa .. Thanks to them . They are leading me to the right path back . They're willing to help me and sacrifice they efforts for me . Thankyou Girls !
U girls are the BEST AMAZING GIRLFRIENDS I EVER HAD . & Thank you for accepting me for who i am :)

And as for Shafiq , I have something to say . ALOT .
Sorry Dear , i didnt speak up the truth . Somethings are just not meant to be say from own mouth .  It may hurt alot . Dear , i dont know wat to say . Its not been fair for us .. & for me especially . First , about my Fb Password . I trust u , i gave my password to u . To prove that i didnt go flirting arnd and go inboxing with other guys behind ur back . I did , i trust u . But what did u say to me whenever i ask fer ur password ? .. U gave me excuse lahh ..
Yknow i trust you 100 % but now since ur not being fair , my trust is decreasing . And as also fer handphones n messages , u didnt EVEN LET ME hold ur phone . Rememeber sunday , we meet ? u contct that pearline wat . Dont think i didnt see u smiling at her msg .. u didnt even know im hurt inside . Thats why i sit other place alone cause it seems that she is more important that me ;( & ur telling me that u are happy with other girls compared to me ..
Second , where did your sweet words go to ? to other girls ? What happened ?
I told u before that i miss seeing u posting sweet phrases on both our walls , yeah u did post .. but why a sudden stop ?
So ur telling me that ur words HANYA SEMENTARE SAJE ? Ur giving me that signal of ur words are nothing and why did i believe in it ?
Oh my , whats happening to u dear ? u've change alot ;( pls , im losing trust on u ..
Third , Y do u always beat me up ? i know ur just playing arnd .. punch me here n there . But ur ways of doing it hurts me ALOT TIMES HARDER .
i admit dear , sometimes in front of my friends u did it . yeah i took it as if ur playing .. but the truth my friends told me this " Huda , asl kau yg merane niyy ? asl lelaki kau pukol kau gytu .. yknow its not nice a boy even a boyfriend beat u even if hes just joking arnd . If he cares for u and loves u soo much , he wouldnt have done tat . He would try his very best to takecare of you even if u hurt abit . aku tknk tngok kwn aku merane mcm niyy , aku yg lagy sedih n kesian kat kau .. "
u tawu i ckp ape ? " biarlahh , aku tk kesahh .. biar aku merane krane die sbb aku btol2 cinte kan die . aku kuat .. walaoupon it hurts me a thousand times .. " ....

Dear , we may have made it through till almost 7 months of our relationship . But ... what for going through a long distance relationship if one of us is not even happy inside our own heart and one of us is suffering inside ? Dear , i dont care how long we made through , but as long as we spent and cherish our moments truely is the best memories i can keep :) if only we look closer at our mistakes , we can spent more time together . But whats there i can get ? Im losing trust on you dear .. IM SOO SORRY ;( But no matter how deep im hurt and how long im being hurt is , I'LL ALWAYS LOVE YOU .

Dear , i feel like im losing u .  Everytime i close my eyes now , i can see you happy with other girls . I just cant help it .. Dear , there's still other ppl who mostly care for me . Idk , they're the ones who made me smile endlessly . Made me cry for joy . Gave me happiness bit by bit . Show me the meaning of sister love .
I still love u no matter what .. i just dont wanna lose my love ones again & all is left with me is just memories  .. Im sorry ;(
I MISS U ;(