Our route is still a long journey to go .

Oh my . CM'ON ... is soo desperate of shopping ! I need money money money ! pffft . Alaaaaa , must wait mummy to hav money then can go shop spree . Must bring her along ^^ or else i cannot buy what i want .. later mummy pick for me like " ewwwwwww , not my type ! " . Cant wait cant wait cant wait ! Mummy later go Bugis hor ^^ use your money ferst okaes ? when i hav work already then i can pay you back . Teehee . Love you lahh mummy :D If cannot , i use my savings ferst okaes . Either i go jalan`jalan cari baju wit Efah or Ierah .. then can ask for their opinion . Ishh , pls help me ! where can i get money quicky aye ? working ? nope , im tired of working and dont mention it , i hate that manager of mine . Ergggh ! i dont wanna work this holiday . "Kene pandai`pandai cari duit ehkk " (*sighs) . I need suggestions ! Mummy ask told me that i can work at Giant as a cashier . Cashier ?! No no no ! i became cashier at Macdonalds already like " WTF how am i gonna use this . I not an expert of pressing things fast ?!! " . Can i ? if i work , i wanna work every single day coz its just near my house and no one can ever see me wearing Giant shirt and im also scared i dump into my friends in CCK . Shamed :S . Good things about working at Giant - Higher pay , can take free things :P , get money  and i dont need to ask money from mummy anymore . Bad things - dump into my friends , dont noe how to use that screeny thingy fast , would there be teenagers like me ?and and ...erhhhhh ...... hmmmm , i dunnoe noe . Well , i seriously need to work hard nxt year . Such a crucial year for me and my friends . Me n Efah are now starting to study . But study while shoppin' . Teehee . I need to get back my Good Progress award again like i used to . Now my results are down . I want it back ! If i cant make it , atleast i tried by very best and get good results . If i cant do it for myself , I'll do it for my mum . and if not my mum , atleast for the family . I wanna get in Poly ! (not looking down at ITE aye) ... i wanna be the old me again - The smartest n high potential in class :( well in that case , nxt year , i'll have to booked a table for me .. and my father (ALTHOUGH HE'S GONE ). Teehee . i used to sit alone in class so that i can concentrate really well and be in the positions i want . When i sit alone , i can feel that my father is there to accompany me study . He's the only man that gives me strength and the potential to do well . Cause he used to teach me when im little . Hmm , " Daddy , i miss those times :( , you teach me ngaji , basic subjects , how to draw until its perfect , Even you always draw me a portrait of Barney .. Teehee soo cute of you lahh daddy . You teach me draw until im talented in it , and inspires ppl with my drawings . Thankyou daddy , But now i sense you're not with me anymore . Cmon dad , give me hope and strength . i really need you nxt year , and rite now . Cause you're the only one that makes me smilin' wide . Is it that im too big already to be accompanied by you ? Dad , no matter how old am i , i really need you by myside . you seeing me going through thick and thins , seeing me in sucess and pass with flying colours . You made my life change . You made me sucess . And most importantly , You made my life as happy as no one can be . if only you were still alive , even now my bf is gone for awhile , you gave me support and the strength to hold on to my tears and carry on . I just cant believe you're gone dad . I cant believe even a single hope . If only you're here , you would hug me and told me to believe in whats happening in the past . We can regret the past , but have faith for the future . whats happening to our future , we cant assure and guranteed . Sometimes its just a dream . A dream for me . when i was little , you were lying on my grandma's lap and you were hard to breathe . I was just standing beside a wall thinking whats happening . If only you died when im older , I would cry , scream to the top of my voice and ask help from God . i cant accept of losing you dad . I just cant for once . Why must you go ?! WHY ?!! . You were the only man and a dad to help me accompany my life to success . Please dad , stay by myside . I cant go on alone without you ))))); You're the only one who can guide me through tough situations . Dad , you're my one&only dad i can count on . But since you're gone , i'll just have to accept whats happening in the past . I cant go on like this forever . i just asking one favour from you dad , Stay right with me ." 

Dear Fiq Ksiao ,

Dear since you gone for a while , i dont noe if i can hold on . Its killing me badly . If one day you came out , will you hold on to me ? will you come back to me ? will you stay with me ? .. these questions keep rounding in my head . Im scared . and ... if you changed ? i've lost you for a long time . And i've lost myself . Im saying this cause i dont ever wanna lose my love ones again . You told me yourself that you dont want me to leave . And thats what im making your wish come true . But if you're the one who left me ? .. You noe , i love you soo sooooooo much . But will you love me with your whole heart ? . Your a great guy , one of a kind , who loves to loyal with girls .. .. you may say " i love you " to me , but can i know something .. until when you will love me ? how long ? Hmmm , each day , i get worried and worried of you . I cared you because i love you . If you really wanna know whats my answer to my own question , well " I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER AND ALWAYS & ETERNITY " , thats my answer . So how about you dear ? will you treasure me with all your heart ? .. Hope i can get your answer as fast as you can . Cause i'll be waiting for your msgs and calls . And a signal that you have come back . Bye dear , see ya soon . Missssss ya lotz and takecares :) Goodnight .